Monday, April 11, 2016

LOVE: An Explorer's Reflection



As written words, the following thoughts, descriptions and insights have no value in themselves. But if we are interested to experience the essence in our daily life, in our inner and outer reality, they may be stimulating and supportive. A helpful attitude on this road is that of an explorer who has the curiosity of a child. We look into the unknown and want to discover the truth of love.



What could mobilize our interest and the energy that is necessary to look with full attention? It could be the love and beauty that touch us directly in moments of grace. For some time they fill the brain with their fragrance and evoke the intent to be more awake.


More often, however, our motivation comes from discontent and suffering. When we become aware that our unrealized ideals and hopes are illusions, when the condition of society and mankind touches us deeply, when we are caught in fears of senselessness and death, there might be an inner push that encourages us to question everything and look anew.



How do we look? What is there to explore?


Our theme is LOVE. But we don't know what love is. We don't simply believe what others tell us. We don't follow any outer authority. Therefore, we can only start with what is present in our consciousness now.


I watch myself and become aware of my feelings, thoughts and actions. I watch the others and I watch the world. Being an explorer, I don't judge - I look. I find out if I can see without judging. Being an explorer, I have no fixed expectations, only an intention - to discover what love is.


Quite often I might get angry, scared or depressed by what I see in myself and others. Through this I realize that I react automatically to nearly everything - thereby clouding my perceptions.


Slowly, self-awareness grows and I come closer and closer to what is: the movement of contents and qualities in consciousness.


It becomes difficult to separate the outer from the inner world because I can't decide whether objects and experiences are outside or inside my brain. It becomes almost impossible to hold on to any sure knowledge. But my intention to find true love stays and grows.


I see my own limitations and those of others. This makes me more open, more tolerant. I discover the existence of a language of the heart to which I can listen. I am surprised to notice that my feeling of self-importance diminishes.


Slowly a new taste spreads in consciousness. I can't really grasp it. But it lights a flame of certainty and joy. The taste is full of liveliness. It is more real than anything I have known. Again and again I lose the contact to it. But it calls. I can't forget it any more. And over and over I walk the road anew. The following thoughts, experiences and insights reflect this road. Only when you and I discover and live them now are they true.




I write about love. What I say about it is not love. It is not an idea nor a concept. I cannot invent love through thought. But maybe it will radiate from between the words and lines, because love shines. It is the light of all.




For me the most important thing in life is to live in love. I am filled with this wish because I feel that we are deeply disturbed. Our illness is that we are not really present.


We are imprisoned in our constructed worlds. This creates pain and deep suffering. It effects me and all of us. There is a certainty in me that only love can heal us humans, because it leads to direct being. Therefore, it should be the main concern of our life.


The journey into love is the biggest adventure possible. It questions everything. It shakes everything. As a guide, it teaches us to meet ourselves. Love is like an inner fire - the more I surrender, the more it shows itself. With gentleness it sees my inabilities and failures. It shows me patiently, with love, what is not love.




Over and over I reach a point where trust is important. These are the moments when love wants to show itself through my actions. It shakes my reason. It shakes my self-image and my rules. It asks for attention, because otherwise, I can't feel it. It asks for devotion, because otherwise, it can't reveal itself.


Yet, strong resistances in me do not want to let go: fear and hate, greed and longing, self-pity and pride, comfort and routine. Love accepts my struggles - with love. It is always present: in my conflicts, my desperation, my aggression, my inattention. Love sings the song of love without a pause, and without choice. Wherever I am, wherever I go, it is already there. Love is concerned about me, but it is free of all worry. It contains all the time of our world. No matter what I do, at some point I have to meet it.




What can be stronger than love?


Our main problem with love is that we take it personally. Personally means - in separation, as a property right. Personally means - under certain conditions.


When we talk about love we usually mean conditioned love - full of romance, sentimentality and drama. It is shaped by our personal upbringing, by what we heard or read.


We believe that our image of love is true love. The image consists of value systems, ideals and dreams. If I believe to meet this image in you, I believe to be in love with you. But I am in love with my own image.


My image of myself sees my image of you. And your image of yourself sees your image of me. Images feel, kiss and make love. If after some time, your or my behavior no longer fits our images, we feel hurt, angry and uncaring.


Personal love has also a great beauty. It is often a door or a teacher. But we suffer so much from it. We have to guard it all the time, fearing it could break any moment. Is love hurting, transient and strenuous?


Personal love is often full of greed.


It wants to possess and to control. It wants to decide what it loves. It defines you and me and loses contact to the beauty of our indescribable being.


Personal love is part of our prison. Within it we can never be free.




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If I am no image, who am I?

If you are no image, who are you?

I am being.

You are being.

You and I are who we are.

You, as being, are always new.

I, as being, am always new.

We see each other, touch each other, without knowledge.

Forgotten is the image-world,

A play, a dream, of you and me.





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Why is love so full of pain?

Why is love so limited?

Why is love a chain for us?

Why are we afraid of love?

Why are we so hard from love?

Why is love a passing flame?

Why is our love no love?




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The path of the heart is difficult, because it asks to forget all fixed knowledge. Only in forgetting you, can my heart see you. Only in forgetting me, can my heart feel me. The path of the heart is thorny, because it walks the roads of the suffering world. The heart sees war and torture, pain and loss - and lets them in.


The path of the heart is alone and all embracing. Amidst the separate forms of being, flows, undescribed, its nameless strength.


The path of the heart is free and full of beauty. In love, all things get born and fade away.


Love shines like a sun. Sometimes visible and sometimes invisible. But it is always here.


Love originates from the source. It flows into our being, and radiates from our actions. Love does not belong to anyone. It is life's gift to all. Love has no needs, and is without condition. Love wants only one thing: that we feel it.





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To let go of what is not love, leads to love.

To accept what is not love, leads to love.

Yes and no. Known and unknown. Empty and full.


Love is perceiving, taking everything in.

Love is acting, streaming into everything.

Love comes from the center - love has no center.

When I lose the center, I lose love.

When I am in the center, I lose love.


The heart is cleansed and cleansed. All suffering pours through until it says yes to love.


Love does not define. Love gives no compliments. Love does not do good. Love cannot be owned. Love cannot be taken away. Love is where nothing is not love.





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In a natural state of being, love is the essence.

Where there is love, there is no alternative to love.

With care it holds pain, ugliness and hate.

Everything is seen and nothing can hide.

All has a place in love.

Love is a mirror that transforms everything.

It is like an inner fire that evokes the shine of all.

When I meet you and all the world, am I in love?

When the brain relaxes into silence, healing occurs. Silence becomes audible. Nothing and something - silence. To allow this healing to take place, shows the love to oneself. Silence envelops everything. It is everywhere. Everything happens within it. Everything can lose itself in it. It is eternal. Silence is.

To let go of myself and listen to the silence...

What am I afraid of?




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There is a kind of equanimity that brings deep peace. It is not indifference because everything is concerning oneself: the ocean, the light, the childrens' voices from the playground, and the weight of wood logs on ones own shoulders. Everything is intermingling, blending together and opening the consciousness of a gentle silence.


The questions - Who am I? or, What am I doing here? - are gone. There is no need to have a right of being. The eyes look aimlessly upon the smooth sea. Questions, which otherwise create disturbance, heaviness, or activity, are meaningless.


The red glow of the sun comes once more through the clouds at dawn. Peace covers the earth and touches everything with its silence.


The beauty of the world is indescribable. All descriptions distract from the beauty. Beauty comes to you when you see it. You see it when you look. In order to look, you have to be present. Then, all energy goes into perception.




The looking comes from silence and it sees what is. What is, is the beauty of life.


All forms through which life manifests have a specific knowledge about life. They are unique expressions of life. If we listen, the knowledge speaks to us and shows us the richness of each moment.


We live in paradise. Paradise was never lost. Our wars take place in paradise. We create our conflicts in paradise.

We live in paradise when the brain surrenders and becomes quiet.




I want to show the beauty that I see to you. It is glowing and vibrating like a dance of light. It fills my heart and flows to everything I see. It is limitless. It is so intense that all words fail.

Quite often during my daily life and now, as I write about love, the contact with it slips away. I feel separated, and it is only a memory.

When I am in contact with love, there is no doubt or unclarity. It is a state of complete trust. But when I think about it and try to grasp or understand it, it slips away.


Love is like an energy that comes to us. I cannot go towards it. I can only open myself to it.


When I feel doubt, ambivalence or mistrust - about myself, my actions, or about my perceptions of the world - then I know that I am not in contact with love.


In those moments, there is nothing else to be done than to be aware of what is going on inside of me - as deeply and clearly as possible. It requires a conscious journey into ones own actual state of being.




Doing this, I notice frequently, that in spite of my training, my learned concepts, and my psychological knowledge, I have no real answers to what happens inside and outside myself. I don't understand why the human world is the way it is; why there is so much suffering and so much injustice. All the explanations of science and philosophy don't help me.


I don't understand why my mood always changes and why the same things make sense sometimes, and seem at other times completely senseless. And in spite of all biographical explanations, I don't comprehend my dissatisfaction, my arrogance, my rudeness, and my drives. I don't know what is right and wrong. Nor do I know what is the inner and what the outer. I don't believe in authority.


And if I am honest with myself, I have nothing really to hold on to, including the people and activities I enjoy the most in my life.


Nevertheless, I often get caught in the wish to change something because I don't like it and I don't accept it. I don't want the human world to be the way I see it. The TV pictures and the stories in the newspapers, you and me, touch my heart.


How shall I handle what I see - poverty, power, money, cruelty? How shall I meet your feelings, your demands, your pains? How shall I handle the ways of the politicians, the religions, and the educators of our children? How shall I meet the mechanical-ness, the pleasure-dependence, and the insensitivity of our lives?


I ask and ask, and I find answers less and less. I think that something has to change if you and me feel true love. Or can it really be, that we human beings are endlessly imprisoned between desire and conflict, pleasure and suffering?




The thought comes to me that maybe the world is only this way because I perceive it in this way. Perhaps I, myself, am responsible for the separation and duality that makes us suffer.


As I start to explore the fact of duality, I feel the splits and conflicts wherever I look. I feel that I have to be separate in order to be me. I feel sadness and pain. I start to sense the abyss of my aloneness. But answers I don't know. I just see that we are the way we are.


I direct my attention towards the body and feel the breathing.


I am aware of its fragility, its desire for lust, its sensations of discomfort and well-being, its hunger and its thirst. I ask myself what is the body - what is matter? Is being in a body not bondage and separation by itself? Am I the body? What is the right way to deal with it, its sicknesses, its dying? What is love of the body? Is there consciousness without a body?


I listen deeply into all my questions. Answers come and answers go. Convictions blossom and fade away. What remains is just not knowing. The more I meditate on all of this, the more I feel alone. I am alone with not knowing. Its taste and its space become clearer and more certain.


I walk the circles over and over again, but I always arrive here. I have no answers, no basic explanations. I have no identifications, no orientation, no fixed identity. At the base of searching and fighting for something to hold on to, I am alone in being - without understanding.


Slowly dawns a new insight, like the opening of a curtain: I cannot know anything. It is impossible to know anything that is ultimately secure. Knowledge and definitions have to be limited and incomplete by their nature, therefore they are transient.


There is an instant feeling that this insight changes consciousness. It is like a letting go, a relaxation, a surrender, an incredible relief.


At the bottom of my questions, my conflicts, my pleasures, and my aloneness, all disappears, and is received by the unknown, the unknowable.


The energy of the unknowable is slowly filling the brain. It dissolves all questions. With all that concerns me, with the whole world, I end in the unknowable.




The truth of the unknowable is full of harmony, security and peace. It is the essence of trust. It is space. It is limitless space. And this space is filled with love.


Now love is here and it shines on everything from the unknowable. When I pause, when I listen, when I endure my not knowing, then I am ready and open for love. It can touch and lead me.

Love is not suffering. Does love see suffering?

How are unity and duality connected?

How are you and I connected?

I am just I when I am not you.

I am just I when you are you.

Am I you?

Who asks the question? Who shall respond?

I see suffering - am I the suffering?

If I am the pain - who feels the pain?



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I am two or I am not.

You are two or you are not.

All is two or it is nothing.

If I am two, then I am one.

Two is one seeing itself.

When pain feels pain, then it is one.

When it is one, then it is love.



Sorrow is only sorrow when it does not feel itself.

Two is only two in separation.

Separate can only be whatever is already one.

You and I are separate because we are together.



One is always one, even when it is two.

Two is always one, even when it is two.

Love is always love, even when it is sorrow.

Suffering is always love, even when it is pain.



Love and suffering, in unity - is trinity.





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I feel physical pain. This pain is a body sensation; a specific physical quality. Is it possible to feel it through attention and breathing, without naming it? If I don't give it a name, if I don't describe it, it is just there, being what it is. Then, there is no conflict.

The quality of pain is one of the many faces of life. It has its place in the universe as all that exists. With the help of intuitive and medical knowledge, we do everything to heal and soothe the illnesses and pains of the body. But when they are there and when there is no help, we can only say yes.


Physical pain is a form of energy. It is pulsating. It is not separated from love. Pain can feel itself in love - if we allow it.




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Breathing in - breathing out.

Silence.

I walk the way.

You walk the way.

She walks the way.

He walks the way.

We walk the way.

You walk the way.

They walk the way.

It walks the way.



Flowing, going, standing, flying, growing, swaying, sinking, lying, gliding, swimming, running, dying.

Breathing, breathing, breathing, breathing.



Love is like a clear endless lake that fills consciousness and streams through the brain.

A thought appears - and sinks into the lake of love.

An image appears - and sinks into the lake of love.

Memory dissolves in light.

You dissolve in light.

I dissolve in light.

Love flows through everything.

Everything dissolves in light.




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Love is the music of the universe.

Sounds, tones, harmonies.

The string is swinging, the gong vibrating.

Music is nourishment, healing and light.


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No must, no goal, no obligation, no pressure to be somebody, no role, no direction to go, no wish, no push, no meaning, no purpose, no explanation, no reference point, no description, no question, no answer, no framework, no definition, no I, no non-I, no comparison, no evaluation, no knowing, no not knowing.

I am walking and singing in circles.

Light like a feather I laugh from joy.

Light like a child I laugh from ignorance.

Light like a bird I laugh into the sky.

Light like a breeze my laughter dies.


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From aloneness comes the strength to live. It is an inexhaustible source that says yes to all.


Aloneness is a safe shelter. The stars are your friends and the blackness of the night embraces you. You feel love.


Aloneness is freedom from all desire, all needs, all drives.


Aloneness knows no burden and no shadow.


Can we meet without losing this feeling of all-oneness, without separating from each other?







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I listen. You talk about your problems, your experiences, your physical discomforts, and your future plans.


I am you. I am made out of the same material as the things you tell me.


Our talks become monologues. The contents lose importance. Compassion opens the hearts. Your joy is my joy and your suffering is my suffering.


But the listener is like an empty space. The listener is listening. It takes us completely in. It connects us with everything. It says yes to you and me. We are safe.


The breath is the umbilical chord to the source.

As long as we live it is always present.

It connects us with space and silence.

When we breathe, we breathe the connection.

The breath is a direct entry into all.


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Every moment, everything happens together. Energy flows in all forms. All appearances are energy in movement. Life has endless faces, endless tastes and endless sounds.


Consciousness is simultaneously filled with all of them.


The ego, however, is only identified and busy with a few contents. In the process of becoming me, I learn to fix these contents as my identity. I am caught, living in a rigid world.


The beauty of the natural energy movement escapes from the perceiving mind. The flow of life seems to be broken and, apparently, we live simultaneously in two worlds: the conditioned one of you and me, and the unlimited one of all.


If we become deeply aware of this the illusion of separation goes away and our identity becomes transparent.


As waves in a river, you and I appear like constant forms. But every moment creates us new.


In the big stream there are many currents. Each one has its own direction, its own creative unfolding. It develops and fades away with all.


In a herd of animals each one of them moves for itself and, at the same time, they form together the motion of one energy being. This being moves itself in a bigger stream, which again, flows in even greater energies. Like this, everything moves together until infinity, where big and small are one.


Sometimes, I can lead the herd, creating the form of our movement. Sometimes, I can just follow it. And sometimes, I disappear in the movement - everything is naturally together.


Life is simple when I trust it. In my space I dance my dance. In our space we dance our dance. In the universal space, the dance dances itself.


The vastness of all touches my heart and its peace streams even in my little world.



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Stones and sand are talking to me, water and waves.

Mountains and flowers are talking to me, birds and goats.

The sky and the light are talking to me, the humans and the stars.

Their talk is their being.

Their language is essence.

I walk on the stones without falling.

Air and water are clear.

We breathe together.


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When the known world transforms itself into the awareness of now, all time disappears. Everything is new, bathed in the light of beauty. Knowledge ceases to clothe being. All is perfect as it is.

Because we define here and now, we are not here and now.

There is no more to be done than what we do right now.

When we don't want to arrive, we are here.

When now exists, we are immortal.



The days disappear in the now.

Was it yesterday, the day before, or this morning?

The fire warms me beneath a grey sky.

I have no time - it is quiet.






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All time is now.

All that was is now.

All knowledge is now.

Death and life are now.

All beauty is now.

Now is infinite space.

Now is creation.

Creation is being now.



Love in itself, can't be described, for all described is never love.

But love can talk through gowns of words.

When taken off - it's purely here.

Love does reflect itself in all.

For all the things are made from love.

United, love melts all divisions.

To feel the love means being love.

When love sees me then I am loved.

When I see love then I am love.

One can't succeed to cling to love,

For what I grasp is never love.

Love is the taste and scent of being.

Quite irresistible is love,

For never does itself resist.

Quite inexorable is love,

For no-one can escape from it.

Love is the light of core and heart.

All things are touched and melt in it.

Timeless flows love as holy being.

It is a clown, a sparkling mirror,

Reflecting laughingly oneself.

Full of surprises is its essence.

All things are new, untouched and fresh.

Love is the endless stream of giving.

Surrendering dissolves oneself.

Love means arriving now at home,

Safe shelter in eternity.

Of all is love, therefore, the end.




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